Labor Day 2009

I have decided that night coverage is a great time to write updates or blogs. It makes the time go by very quickly and allows me to stay connected with people.

 I really don’t have much free time. I hear it will get better after we are done with our training. However, right now, the first free time I have is at 11:00 pm. I have thought of calling many of you once the kids are down, but then it is really late at night and you are probably asleep as well!

As Big Sisters to the Shelterwood students we take on many roles for them…parent, mentor, friend, etc. I would say my current biggest adjustment is having little time for myself. So far it hasn’t been too bad. However, just the thought that I can’t just get up and run in the morning before everyone is up…it’s a little sad. I love the mornings and the fact that I am stuck in the house sucks. I am finally living where it is pretty and I cannot even get up to enjoy it. I will survive—it’s just a little sad. I think I am going to have to run in the afternoon. I really detest afternoon running—but you do what you have to do. This is how parenthood works. You get “your stuff” in once the kids needs are met.

I do get up about and hour and half before the girls in my room so that I can start my day off with the Lord. That has been good. Emotions in a houseful of teenage girls has its ups and down. While there have been some distinctive hard moments, overall the good moments outweigh the bad. I feel like I am handling things okay. I am waiting for my breakdown. However, when I moved to Korea I never really felt like I went through culture shock though I did.

Looking back  on my first year in Korea…I can see it, but as I was living it, overall things felt pretty good. Ask me in a few months and I am sure I will have one of those “sigh” moments that I had my first year of Korea. A “sigh” moment is when you take a deep breath and you think to yourself, “You know. Things are easier. I feel like I know what I am doing and I’m adjusted.” This happened to me at three different times in my first year in Korea. I have a feeling it might be the same here.

Random piece of information—my day will always be on Wednesday. It is not the day off that I wanted simply because it is chapel day so it is shorter than the other days off. It’s really not a big deal, but I sort of laughed when I got it. But days off will rotate and then it will be someone else’s turn to have the shorter day off. I still am not sure how I will handle days off—to stay on property of not. I have a feeling if I stay on property it won’t be as refreshing. I would love to hang out in my room and get stuff done, but sometimes you just need to get away.

As you can see from this rambling, I have a lot of things to figure out with managing my personal time. I still have a lot to figure out with the girls. I will admit that this is the first year where I have been able to really say that age and life experience just makes life easier. Having not been in this exact situation before, but having dealt with a lot of the issues that I currently am dealing with, I am able to quickly process stuff and I just have knowledge that makes things easier. I am not describing this well.

Anyhow, life at the House is good. As usual, I highly doubt I am a “favorite” Big. They think I am a bit extreme in what I expect of them. I hope they soon are able to see my heart in it. Though there never goes a day that doesn’t have its moments, I am enjoying my job here. I love these girls so much already. I still look at others and sometimes wish I was able to more easily form relationships with people and get to know them, but am really content with the way God made me and okay with the fact that they way I form relationships will be different than others. This is where that “life experience” comes in handy. You can always be praying that the Lord gives me favor here. That I will be able to do rules with relationship well. I often don’t understand why God has called me to work with teens when I really don’t feel like I am very good at it. Perhaps that is exactly why—to make sure I am doing it in His strength.

We are currently training up until the time the girls come home from school. I have had one “day off” (2:30 pm to midnight) since August 13^th. I am looking forward to my next day off in two days. As I am in a houseful of twenty-something people, I thankful that the Lord gave me a high noise tolerance level. The noise really doesn’t bother me most of the time. I hang out outside with the girls as much as possible. I love it outside and get restless when I sit in the living room in the House—too much noise and junk and it is very hard for me to concentrate one conversation. I cannot wait until I get a better feel for the schedule and how to manage my personal life. I cannot wait until I have had more time here and I have stronger relationships not only with the Littles, but also the Bigs.

And my thoughts seem very scattered, but felt like blurting this out to you—sometimes get the best response. The Lord is my rock and the constant in my life. He is what sustains. I am thankful to Him for brining me here.

 I love you all,

Amber

A Day in the Life of Amber

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

5:00           Shower and get ready for the day

6:00           Quiet Time and Journal

7:00           Prepare 8 am, 3 pm, 6 pm, and 9pm meds for all in the House

8:00          Breakfast

8:15            Scarf down breakfast

8:25           Roll call for school

8:27           Walk Littles to school

8:30           Quiet Time

9:00            Bigs get in vehicles and go to K-Kawaui for more Orientation Training

12:00          Bigs get in vehicles and return to property for lunch

12:10           Bigs arrive on property to find out the bathroom in the dining hall has backed   up and there is a poopy mess to clean up in the kitchen—everyone waits                   outside for lunch as they have not even started making it.

12:30           Still waiting for lunch and Littles (Shelterwood students) arrive for lunch. Ask them to wait outside and explain the situation.

12:??             Get served some thrown together PB&J or tuna sandwitches from a window in       the kitchen

1:00              Bigs get in vehicles and return to property for more Orientation Training

2:10              Bigs return to property

2:30             Bigs have a meeting to prepare for the Littles to come home from school (work    out the logistics of who is watching who and who has to serve what punishment   and who needs to be where type of thing)

3:00              Teachers bring Littles back to the House

3:00-3:15       Adjust and amend previously made plans and shuffle as need be and give out afternoon meds

3:30-4:00      Supervised Room Grounding for a Little

4:00-5:00      Did a work hour with two Littles

5:00-5:30       Ran a “work hour” (2 miles in 25 minutes) with a Little

5:30-6:00       Walk a 30 min “work hour” with another Little

6:00                Distribute evening meds and eat dinner

6:30                No official “duty”. Take a shower and hand out in the living room.

7:06                Head outside with another little so she can do one of her three 30 minute aerobics for the week—we shot some hoops.

8:00-9:00     Supervised study time in my room with my Littles

9:00-9:30      Give out night meds

9:30-10:00    Room time—time to connect with the three Littles in my room

10:30             Main light off

10:45             All lights out

10:45-12       Night duty downstairs—Set first part of alarm system and sit outside the doors to ensure everyone is sleeping and in their rooms.

Midnight      Set the alarm completely and go to bed.

First Impressions

I have now completed 9 days of training. The first days were devoted to getting to know those we will be living with and those LeadTimers who will be at our Kansas City location. I am really enjoying ALL of those who are going to be part of this program. All the staff members have a love for the Lord and you can just tell they are very grounded in the Lord.

Though I have completed 9 days of training, we didn’t really start learning anything about what we are doing this year until the last few days. However, in the last few days I have received kitchen training, learned about de-escalation, proper restraining methods, how to give medicine, Shelterwood’s rules and our responsibilities, the rules of the House and our responsibilities, and vehicle training. I am now also CPR, First Aide, and AED certified.

We are currently staying at K-Kawaui Family Camp. Though this place is incredibly nice and just down the street from where I will be living next year, I am ready to move into the House. I officially move into the House where I will be living for the next year in about twelve hours. The kids are currently on a break and will return the day after we move in. There about 5 kids on property who did not go home to their families. When you first enter the program, you do not go home for the first break.

Anyhow, I am ready to move it. I know I have a lot to learn, but I am ready to start doing what I came here to do. Tomorrow I essentially become a parent. I become a parent to those teens who are in the House under my care. Though I am called a big sister, I will be responsible to take on the role of parent. The care will be constant like that of a parent. I am “on-duty” all day long. I cannot even get up in the morning and run before everyone in the house stirs. I cannot leave my girls unsupervised as they sleep or at anytime during the day. I have 12 hours off a week. This job will be hard, but is such an incredible opportunity to invest into the lives of these girls. I am confident this will be a year of tremendous growth.

This entry is all jumbled as so much is going through my head and heart and so much that I would love to share with you guys. Not only with my start at LeadTime, but even my transition back to the States, and just this transition in my life. There are several things that have to do with all the transition I have been doing these past few months that I have started to process in this past week. Some interesting things!

However, rather than share it all, I share one thing He is really pressing into my heart. The Lord has had me studying 2 Corinthians this week. In chapters 2 and 3, Paul is describing his confidence to the church at Cornith--His confidence in his ministry, his love toward the church, and in ministering the New Covenant. Several times the word adequate comes up. Each time Paul is describing how his ministry to the church at Corinth has nothing to do with his adequacies—it all has to do with the work of the Holy Spirit. At one point Paul writes, “Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”

This is what this year is about for me. I am not adequate for what the Lord has called me to this year, but in His strength I can walk in the confidence that He will use me for His glory. It will be the work of the Spirit that changes the lives of these teens. It will be in His love that I will love these teens. I will be depending on Him for wisdom to even know what to do. It will be His grace and forgiveness that keeps me going when I mess up. It will be the community of the body of Christ that He established that will keep me encouraged and built up.

Anyhow, I really need to head to bed. I welcome any questions! If you want to know anything just click on comments and leave your question there!

A Little About Doulos

What is Doulos?

The purpose of Doulos Ministries is to disciple, train, and place Christian servant-leaders to disciple youth and families. Doulos offers a unique atmosphere for spending time together. We work, study, eat, play, laugh, and hurt together. Jesus said that He chose the disciples to be “with Him”. The need for other people to be involved in your growth encourages the process of discipleship.

Doulos has three different ministries that fall under its umbrella: LeadTime, Shelterwood, and The Sky’s the Limit. I will educate you a little more about LeadTime and Shelterwood as these two ministries are two different ministries that work together to help troubled teens.

What is LeadTime?

Leadtime is a one-year discipleship program for men and women, ages 21-30, with interests in being trained in the basics of Christian living and ministry skills. The program occurs in an intense atmosphere of personal relationships.

LeadTime students are known as “Bigs”.

What is Shelterwood?

Shelterwood is a residential care program for troubled teens. The teens (littles) attend a school on campus (Doulos Property) called Shelterwood. This is an actual accredited school where the kids are taking classes and earning credits.

 Shelterwood students are known as “Littles”.

How do LeadTime and Shelterwood work together?

LeadTime ("Bigs") and Shelterwood ("Littles") have many parts of their programs that overlap. One of them is that we all live together. There is a girls house and a boys house. I am a LeadTime student and am “Big Sister” to the students at Shelterwood. And that is how you get "Bigs" and "Littles". It is much easier to just say Bigs/Littles as opposed to Big Sister/Little sister and Big Brother/Little Brother. I think you got it! Each Big shares a room with two to three littles. So I will be sharing a room with a couple of teens.

The House has a purpose statement that I would like to share with you. “Our purpose is to provide a structured and safe environment through which to build relationships, encourage, and support teenagers during their time at Shelterwood with the goal of restoring them to their families and ultimately to God.”

What is the age group of the kids I will be working with?

Teens in Shelterwood can be anywhere from 13-18, although most teens are around 15 and 16.

What kind of background do these kids come from?

These teens are mostly from middle to upper middle class families.  Their parents are either Christians or open to Christianity, since they're choosing to put them in a Christian residential program.  Some have pretty functional families, others have pretty dysfunctional families.  Overall, most parents are invested and involved in the program with the teen.  They come with a variety of issues: rebellion, lack of motivation, poor grades, some drug use (not severely addicted), maybe promiscuity, depression, etc.

A fact that I find interesting. 2% of the USA population is made up of adopted children. 40% of our kids have been adopted.

Can I survive my year in LeadTime without a car?

LeadTime is very do-able without a car.  As long as your record is good, you'll be able to use ministry vehicles to transport the teens places (there might be some insurance requirements.  I can check into it).  You can't use ministry vehicles for personal use, but many LeadTime students have cars, and in general are generous with allowing other students to use them.  Your days off will be staggered, so chances are you can use someone's car who isn't off on the same day you are.  

I will admit that I think this will be a little hard for me. It is weird for me to have to borrow a car to go anywhere. It will be a great growing experience and I think I will appreciate the freedom a car brings that much more by the end of this year!

What is the housing situation? Will I have my own room? Will I share a room?

You will share a room with 1-3 others.  You will share a room with two to three Shelterwood students.  

Do we all go to the same church?

There are 3-5 churches in the community that our LeadTime students go to. They're solid, Bible believing churches.  You'll take Shelterwood teens with you to church on Sundays.  Church attendance is required for all Shelterwood teens, however, they do get to choose where they want to go of the approved churches. Where I attend will be dependent upon where my Littles wish to attend.

Will I have any time off?

Each week we have one “day” off from 12 noon to 12 midnight.

Our year is split into trimesters. Each trimester we will get three weekends off. Weekends off begin Friday at 12 noon and end Sunday at 8 pm.

Vacations correspond with the Shelterwood School Schedule for breaks at Thanksgiving (November 22-Dec 1), Christmas (December 23-January 4), Spring Break (March 13-22), and Beginning of Summer (May 22-31).

It is my goal to spend Christmas with my family. I also hope to visit my sister Alicia in California for one of my breaks. And my cousin gets married during my Beginning of Summer Break and of course I will go home for that!