I received a few e-mails from friends asking how I have been doing because I haven't posted in awhile or been in contact via e-mail. I am humbled and honored that I have people who notice when I don't write. I believe that one of the reasons I have put off writing this post is because I find "how" I currently am hard to explain--I shall do my best.
I have been in Georgia for over 4 months now. I never would have guessed that at this point I still would not have full-time work. There are so many ways that this one fact alone affect HOW I am doing.
Last year I had a decent amount of responsibility. Before that in Korea, I had a decent amount of responsibility as well. And before Korea....I had a decent amount of responsibility. As my friend LB said, my personality is sort of in shock. The first month or two of being in Georgia was about adjusting to a life with less responsibility. I was a bit at a loss as to what to do with my time and myself.
After a few months of being here, I asked the Lord, "Surely you aren't asking me to be unemployed, are You?" To me, it just didn't seem like it was right. But that is where He has me right now. He has me in a season of rest. He is making sure I rest to by leaving my life fairly simple and uncomplicated. By leaving me unemployed. By giving me lots of time to just "be".
Before I moved here, the Lord told me to take a break. I had no idea what that meant exactly. But He really has me in a season of rest. Not only physically (with no job), but emotionally, and spiritually as well.
I tend to like challenges. I don't always seek them out intentionally, but I happen into them somehow. Sometimes I take them on intentionally as well. There are several people I know who when they hear I am still unemployed, there response has been, "That's good, you could use the break." Part of me is like, Really? Even after 4 months you would say that? But it is true. I needed a break from intensity.
I like challenges for several reasons. First, the Lord gave me a math brain who loves to figure things out. Second, though I don't always like the process, I LOVE the end result. I love what comes from the hard conversation, the growth that comes from figuring something out, the growth that comes from wrestling with something.
It is so weird, but despite my uncomplicated life right now, and how low-key it is, the Lord is teaching me some important lessons and deepening our relationship. He is teaching me to be okay and content "being" more and "doing" less. He is showing me that He can take me to deeper levels with Him without some big challenge. If I am but faithful to seek Him, He will draw near to me. He will teach me. He will grow me. He will speak to me.
When the Lord provides work, I work. When He doesn't, I enjoy rest and fellowship with the saints. I have a friends who wonders what the Lord is preparing me for in this season. I really liked that statement and it encouraged me. I guess sometimes I feel like people think I need rest to recover from what was previously, but even if it is about that, it is also about the Lord preparing me for what is "next" as well and it is the first time I had thought of season the Lord has me in with that perspective.
I am very blessed to be a part of the community of believers here in Gwinnett. They are good fit for me and I am encouraged, challenged, and content in where the Lord has me. I am confident that this is where the Lord has called me for a time.
I really cannot think of much more to say. I have been putting this off for so long, dreading the struggle it would be to convey with words how I am doing. Sometimes I find this task easier than other times. I actually wrote the first part of this post in December! Hope this made sense.
Love you all.
