I have decided that night coverage is a great time to write updates or blogs. It makes the time go by very quickly and allows me to stay connected with people.
I really don’t have much free time. I hear it will get better after we are done with our training. However, right now, the first free time I have is at 11:00 pm. I have thought of calling many of you once the kids are down, but then it is really late at night and you are probably asleep as well!
As Big Sisters to the Shelterwood students we take on many roles for them…parent, mentor, friend, etc. I would say my current biggest adjustment is having little time for myself. So far it hasn’t been too bad. However, just the thought that I can’t just get up and run in the morning before everyone is up…it’s a little sad. I love the mornings and the fact that I am stuck in the house sucks. I am finally living where it is pretty and I cannot even get up to enjoy it. I will survive—it’s just a little sad. I think I am going to have to run in the afternoon. I really detest afternoon running—but you do what you have to do. This is how parenthood works. You get “your stuff” in once the kids needs are met.
I do get up about and hour and half before the girls in my room so that I can start my day off with the Lord. That has been good. Emotions in a houseful of teenage girls has its ups and down. While there have been some distinctive hard moments, overall the good moments outweigh the bad. I feel like I am handling things okay. I am waiting for my breakdown. However, when I moved to Korea I never really felt like I went through culture shock though I did.
Looking back on my first year in Korea…I can see it, but as I was living it, overall things felt pretty good. Ask me in a few months and I am sure I will have one of those “sigh” moments that I had my first year of Korea. A “sigh” moment is when you take a deep breath and you think to yourself, “You know. Things are easier. I feel like I know what I am doing and I’m adjusted.” This happened to me at three different times in my first year in Korea. I have a feeling it might be the same here.
Random piece of information—my day will always be on Wednesday. It is not the day off that I wanted simply because it is chapel day so it is shorter than the other days off. It’s really not a big deal, but I sort of laughed when I got it. But days off will rotate and then it will be someone else’s turn to have the shorter day off. I still am not sure how I will handle days off—to stay on property of not. I have a feeling if I stay on property it won’t be as refreshing. I would love to hang out in my room and get stuff done, but sometimes you just need to get away.
As you can see from this rambling, I have a lot of things to figure out with managing my personal time. I still have a lot to figure out with the girls. I will admit that this is the first year where I have been able to really say that age and life experience just makes life easier. Having not been in this exact situation before, but having dealt with a lot of the issues that I currently am dealing with, I am able to quickly process stuff and I just have knowledge that makes things easier. I am not describing this well.
Anyhow, life at the House is good. As usual, I highly doubt I am a “favorite” Big. They think I am a bit extreme in what I expect of them. I hope they soon are able to see my heart in it. Though there never goes a day that doesn’t have its moments, I am enjoying my job here. I love these girls so much already. I still look at others and sometimes wish I was able to more easily form relationships with people and get to know them, but am really content with the way God made me and okay with the fact that they way I form relationships will be different than others. This is where that “life experience” comes in handy. You can always be praying that the Lord gives me favor here. That I will be able to do rules with relationship well. I often don’t understand why God has called me to work with teens when I really don’t feel like I am very good at it. Perhaps that is exactly why—to make sure I am doing it in His strength.
We are currently training up until the time the girls come home from school. I have had one “day off” (2:30 pm to midnight) since August 13th. I am looking forward to my next day off in two days. As I am in a houseful of twenty-something people, I thankful that the Lord gave me a high noise tolerance level. The noise really doesn’t bother me most of the time. I hang out outside with the girls as much as possible. I love it outside and get restless when I sit in the living room in the House—too much noise and junk and it is very hard for me to concentrate one conversation. I cannot wait until I get a better feel for the schedule and how to manage my personal life. I cannot wait until I have had more time here and I have stronger relationships not only with the Littles, but also the Bigs.
And my thoughts seem very scattered, but felt like blurting this out to you—sometimes get the best response. The Lord is my rock and the constant in my life. He is what sustains. I am thankful to Him for brining me here.
I love you all,
Amber
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