Life definitely happens in seasons. I feel like I have entered into a new season in my time here at LeadTime. This is for a number of reasons. The first is because we had room changes the first weekend the Littles were back from break; and second, we have new Big; and third, we are moving into a new building on property.
I have heard several past LeadTimers whose seasons corresponded with rooms. This is definitely true for me thus far. Not just because of the change of roommates, but even I feel like I am in a new season in what the Lord is working in my heart, and just in my comfort level with all that goes on here on property. It so often hard for me to capture with words the things that I am experiencing here.
I loved my last room. It wasn’t until shortly before room changes that I could even imagine living in a room with different girls. I loved all three of the girls in my room so much. We had really good times and really hard times. I have shared a few of those with you. Despite how much I loved my room; it drained me a lot. I didn’t realize how much it took from me until room changes. I am less drained at the end of the day and more energized.
I am now in a new room on the second floor—the loft. This is probably one of the best rooms in the house as far as atmosphere and feel goes. I am no longer on a bottom bunk but actually get to sleep on a regular twin bed! I have two girls in my room. They have a bunk bed. Pictures included below and in my sidebar.
I love my two new girls. Everyone here has their issues (Bigs and Littles included), and while these two girls have their issues, they are a lot different than what I was dealing with in my last room. I wish I could more openly talk about my girls with you—but I am excited about this new room and look forward to getting to know both of my girls better.
Also, we have enough Bigs now that each room has a co-Big. My co-Big is Wendy. I am super pumped to be paired with her. Having a co-Big is also another reason I am more energized. It means I have a person who is also invested into the same two girls that I am, I have someone to talk through things I am seeing, someone to share in the joys and trials that will come along with these two girls, someone to take half the load of the paperwork! We all to an extent share some of the responsibilities listed above as we all interact with everyone, however, we do focus on the girls in our room.
The other reason I believe I have more energy as well is because we now have 10 female Bigs! It is AMAZING the difference it makes have 3 more people around. I feel like increased coverage allows us to serve consequences along side the girls AND also pursue relationships. We pursued relationships before, it is just easier now as we are no longer operating under minimal coverage. We normally had one Big taking a girl to an appointment off property, one Big supervising room grounding, one Big serving with work hour girls, and one Big in the living. Now we can still have one Big doing all of those things, but we also have one to two Bigs available to take girls outside, or to Sonic for happy hour, or take a walk around the loop, or to pursue a girl one-on-one. It is amazing and incredible and I am so thankful. Our three new Bigs are Megan, Deana, and Emily. They are doing an amazing job of jumping and becoming a part of our group.
We have spent the last week or so moving into a new building. The new building has a dining hall (big enough to host 150-200 people), the main office, the head of counseling office, house director and intern office, LeadTime classroom and library, and LeadTime offices. Our old dining all was in the basement of the girls house. LeadTimer’s didn’t have a classroom and we had class either in the dining hall or the girls house living room. One of the counselors office was in the boys house, one of the LeadTime directors office was in the girls house. The main office was a really tiny building where everyone was nearly on top of each other. The house directors office was in there home (talk about never escaping work), and the interns didn’t have an office. Anyhow, as you might be able to see, this new building is a huge blessing but with it has come a lot of shuffling all over property.
Spiritually, I am not sure what God is doing exactly. However, I do know this. When I first arrived I was desperately dependant on Him. To get through my day, I often had to draw strength from His Word, from prayer, or from worship, not only in the morning, but several times through out the day. It was a good season. I loved the fact that my environment was such that I felt that desperate dependency upon Him. Though my days are less draining, and I am more comfortable with life here, I am no less dependent upon Him. I still need Him equally as much. The challenge of this season will be to not loose sight of that. In easy times and in hard times, I need Him to make it through each day. I have a tendency to start depending on myself and not acknowledging Him who is my sanity and the reason I have even survived life on earth thus far.
In my relationship with LeadTimer’s (AKA my fellow Bigs) I feel like I am entering a new season with them as most of us have been working for almost six months now. I have really been working on figuring out what good community looks for us. I don’t know—I am feeling more settled inside about our community and genuinely am just enjoying my classmates, learning from them, being challenged by them, learning to love them.
I titled this rambling Seasons because I just feel like the Lord has me in a new season in my LeadTime year. It is hard to describe all of the changes, but just as I have changed rooms, and we have added Bigs to our group, and adjusted to being in a new building, I also feel a change in other areas. The longer I am here, the more comfortable I grow with this place and my role here. Days are feeling more normal. Even the days when things are emotional, or girls are dealing with issues, they don’t drain me near as much—we just deal with it and move one. It’s just everyday life here.
That is a little about my current season. I had 10 million more things in my head but I will stop here. May you grasp your desperate dependency on Him and the joy that comes with it.
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