I am writing this post as I am on night watch. Night watch is what we do when one of girls is in danger of hurting themselves or someone else. We have one person who is up all night who sits outside of their door to make sure nothing happens. We each take an hour to share the responsibility. This is our third one this week. Not only this, but we have other girls who have issues they are dealing with. We are on a level system here, and level 3 is what we call the "storming" stage. Though this looks different for each girl, we definitely have a girl or two in this stage.
This is just a good reminder that though we have only a month left, we are not done yet. We are still living in a house full of troubled teens who need us to be there for them and to not be checked out. They need us to be invested.
The other day me and another Big took two girls to Mc Donald's for dinner. Everything was great and we were having a good time. Then one of the girls refills her water cup with Diet Coke. It is a relatively small thing, and a huge part of me just wanted to let it go, but it was a great moment to teach integrity and choosing to do the right thing. So, we have the hard conversation. A moment where we can choose to be invested or to check-out.
The negative and rude attitudes in our house are increasing. As Bigs we can choose to just put up with it for the next few weeks until we are gone, or we can figure out how we are going to handle the situation and what we are going to do to challenge the girls in this area. Many moments were we can choose to be invested or to check-out.
We currently have 11 Bigs and 9 Little right now. This means at times their are 8-10 Bigs on coverage. Even on days where there are only 6 of us on coverage, this means we have lots of opportunities where we can take a girl for a walk, or to run an errand with us, or to Sonic's happy hour--just take advantage and have some one-on-one time with the girls. Once again, the choice to be invested or to check-out.
I have just given a girl a consequence and she is upset. Do I just write the consequence down and leave it at that. Or do I follow-up with the girl a little later. Follow-up is often where the most growth happens, not only for the Little, but just in our relationships in general. Do we follow-up or leave the girls alone? Another moment to choose to be invested or to check-out.
I notice a fellow Big and I are not seeing eye-to-eye on something and it might be affecting our relationship. Do I just leave it be and just get through the next month? Or talk to them about it. A moment to choose to be invested or to check-out.
I am giving these scenarios because this is where we are right now.
The summer schedule here is a lot different than the Fall schedule. We are on coverage a lot more. We have less free time and less time off. It is harder to get your personal things done. We still have classes. We all still have things we are struggling with. We all have ways we are still growing and being stretched. We still have Littles who bring us great joy and who challenge us (both positively and negatively). Many of us are weary and tired of growing. Some are tired of the constantness of this place. Some just are not feeling well physically.
In the midst of all this, I am doing my best to take advantage of this final month to keep investing in the girls and in our community as Big Sisters. I don't fee like it is a huge struggle. I don't think I have checked-out. I still care a lot about the people here and it's weird to think I won't be here soon.
The Lord still has things to teach me in this final month. He still has things to do through me.
I am not finished yet (but getting close).
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