Perseverance

We have three weeks left with our girls! CRAZY.

We just had a really rough room night. I time of the week that used to be what I look forward to has turned into something I dread each week. It ended up okay in the end, but Chelsie (co-big) and I are at a loss as to what to do.

The girls post-summer break starts in three weeks. This is a rough time. We are doing our best to be fully invested, but to an extent walls are being put up. We know we are leaving. The girls know we are leaving. I have a few girls who have decided a relationship with me doesn't matter and its hard. There are other girls here who are just really going through hard times right now. This has its good moments and its bad.

The really hard times here are what make the good times good.

I have said this before and still find it to be true. I am still savoring the good times, but I think the hard times seem harder because time is running short. I am not sure what certain relationships will look like when I leave here and I really have to trust the Lord with that and not try to take it into my own hands.

I am having a harder time being patient with my fellow Bigs. I try to not be selfish--but it still creeps in. I try not to be moody--but I am. I try not to care the girls reactions to me--but I do. I try not to think more of myself than I am--but I do. I try not to care as much about the people here--but I do.

Where is the balance in this time? How do we best love each other during this time of soon to be transition? How do I pursue others in a way that communicates to THEM that I care? How do I care for others in a way that is good for them? Do I turn a blind eye to things I see to make my last month better? Then is it really better?

Pray that I would have love.

Pray for wisdom.

Pray that I would not grow weary in doing good.

Pray that I would do good, love mercy, and walk humbly before God.

Pray that I would be selfless.

By they way...

I have found Galatians 5/6 particularly good for me during this time. It's about freedom in Christ, bearing each others burderns, loving each other, and not growing weary of doing good.