Relationships

I feel like I have had an epiphany over the past week or so. I may be a little slow, because it seems so obvious now.

However, if you asked me which area in my life needed the most growth, I would quickly say, "My relationships."

I have always felt that relationships are not my strength. I look at other people and see that they do relationship well and that I could improve. I will also admit that I have come a LONG way in my overall ability to maintain and even just participate in a good friendship. Despite that, I still feel like it is an area where I could grow a lot more.

I have tons of relationships in my life that are simply amazing. I also have some that are hard.

None of this is the epiphany--just some background into my thinking about relationships as related to myself.

My epiphany has two parts:
1) I have a job that is ALL about relationship.
2) I am better at relationships that I think and this is an area where I have probably allowed Satan to tell me lies.

Processing this epiphany further...

If Satan can get me thinking that relationships are hard for me and that other people are better at relationship than me, he takes away some of my effectiveness relationally. The Lord has called me to a job that requires I be able to be good a relationship.

Technically, I could care for my girls and provide for their basic needs. However, if I do not have relationship with them, then there are a lot of opportunities to speak Truth, share Love, and offer Life that are missed because I believe someone else can do those things better. I do not do those things because I am waiting for someone who will do it better to do it. I have this mindset, rather than the mindset that Christ has prepared me for such a time as this and He has placed me in their life for a reason. I lose sight of the reality that the Lord has placed things in me to share with my girls that He desires for ME not someone else to share with them.

This exact same thing translates into my non-work related relationships as well. Those who know me well, know how much my I have struggled with relationship since my 6th grade year.

As I contemplate how Satan works, it would make sense that he would attack my perception of my ability to be relational. Satan loves to attack where he sees where God can work through someone. The Lord has called me to love the broken-hearted and the hurting. It is a task that requires relationship. God has purposed this for me. Satan, seeing that I am seeking the Lord and desire to bring Him to the broken hearted and hurting, is going to do whatever he can to see that this does not happen. In my case, Satan causes me to look at relationship through the tinted lens of failure. He tries to get me to believe that I suck at it and that ALL these other people do it better. If I believe this, then I will hold myself back as I "allow" someone who is better than me speak into a person's life.

Relationships are something that I do not believe I will ever stop growing in. There will always be a way to grow relational with people. However, I have been looking at my relationships and ability to be relational through a tinted lens. I need to look at my relationships through HIS lens.

Anyhow, this is what I am currently processing with the Lord. It may not seem like a big deal. However, I feel like this is going to be fairly pivotal in taking back ground that I have been allowing Satan to have.